


I love these hands of yours

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I wrote this in 3 hours for a birthday present so bare with me., M/M, Multi, This is all solangelo, everyone else is just there, nobody really has a big pert in this but Nico and Will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 07:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11031786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: Nico sat up then, swinging his legs over Will’s body so he was on top of him. He raised Will’s hands to his lips and kissed them. He kissed every inch of his hands, from the tips of his fingers to the veins on his wrists, where he left on each another lip-shaped bruise. “I love you,” he told him in between his kissing. “And even though you hate these hands, they are your hands, and I love them.”





	I love these hands of yours

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday, Kayla!

Nico was sleeping easier these days.

He didn’t sleep at night. Night was a big no-no. The nightmares came too often, too quickly whenever he slept at night. And the longer he slept, the harder it was for him to yank himself out of that dream and the longer the aftershocks shook him. He found it easier to just take naps. Small naps, no more than an hour long at different times of the day. He takes one after meals and one at mid-morning before or after he teaches the younger campers fighting at practice.

Nico doesn’t usually wake up during one of these naps. His cabin is dark, it’s cool on hot days but warm on frigid ones. He takes a tablet that Clovis gave him with a glass of water that helps him sleep and wakes him up automatically. He doesn’t use it all that much though, he is usually tired and manages to fall asleep almost as soon as he gets comfortable. He only sleeps for an hour at a time because after an hour the really bad nightmares start. The deeper the sleep, the worse the nightmare.

He also isn’t really aware of much of anything during them. He kind of just goes… numb. His senses dull so he can’t catch the scent of death and lavender that his cabin naturally smells of, the feel of the mattress beneath him and the covers draped over his small frame, the taste of saliva and the lingering but faded taste of sulphur , the sounds of commotion going on outside and the clashing of sword-on-sword, the sight of dotted multi-coloured patterns dancing behind closed eyelids and the ever present darkness even becomes absent.

Nico, being a child of Hades could naturally sense and feel when someone was dead or dying. He doesn’t feel that when he’s asleep. He can even feel when someone he cares about is in distress or danger. Nothing can wake Nico up while he is sleeping (much to Percy’s annoyance as he lost 50 drachmas to Annabeth and the Stoll’s), and unless the hour is up he doesn’t get up at all.

Until today.

On a cool Wednesday afternoon, Nico was lying in his bunk, about 40 minutes into his hour rest, when he felt it. Like a prickling, throbbing, sharp sensation that filled him with a sense of melancholy. With a gasp he sat upright in bed, eyes wide and searching. He felt it, but with a sense of burning like an aftertaste. That confused him because it came from his heart and his shoulder. It usually came from his gut and his lungs. And the shoulder he could feel it in felt familiar, somehow. It was the same feeling as when Eros hit him with his arrow, and again when he saw Will during the battle of Gaia, and when they had their first kiss. Nico just associated that pain with Will, with their love and-

Oh no.

_Will._

With the realisation that  _something happened to Will_ , Nico threw off his blankets and jumped out of bed, pulling on a jumper as he went. He grabbed his sword from where it was hanging on a nail near the bedpost. As he opened the door and let his tired yet wide eyes adjust to the screeching white light and bit his tongue thinking over all the possible places Will could be. When he could see again, he noticed some of the other campers giving him apologetic looks.

Percy and Annabeth were leaning against the door of the Poseidon cabin. Percy was trying to look anywhere but at Nico and Annabeth was in his arms looking at Nico with eyes that looked too wet.

A door slammed and Nico turned to see and angry Clarisse exit the Ares cabin and head to the training arena, grumbling under her breath.

There was arguing going on in the Demeter cabin.

Jason and Piper went into the Zeus’ cabin, Jason carrying Piper with her legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck, crying with her head on his shoulder.

He could hear loud, heartbreaking sobbing coming from the infirmary. Quiet voices telling whoever was crying that it would be alright.

Some nymphs were standing at the edge of the woods with chlorophyll running down their faces in green streaks. Grover and some other satyrs walked out of the infirmary and went to the Nymphs shaking their heads. Nico noticed that one of the nymphs was Juniper and she collapsed into Grover’s arms, crying.

Leo was walking up to Festus who was lying next to his cabin, also crying which was strange to Nico, but he climbed Festus and flew off.

All this worried Nico to no end. He tried to think of what Will was doing today, but he couldn’t remember. A camper walked past him and Nico grabbed his arm. “What happened?” He demanded as the camper tried to pull away. “Where’s Will?” At the mention of Will, the camper stopped tugging and looked down. Nico cleared his throat. The camper wouldn’t look up. “We promised him we wouldn’t tell you.” He whispered hesitantly.

“Did he make you swear on the River Styx?”

“No, but- “

“Then tell me.”

The camper finally looked up and Nico could see that he had also been crying. His eyes were red and bloodshot, face wet with dried tears.  _What is going on?_

“There was a still birth.” The camper finally said as he met Nico’s worried glance was a sad one. Nico stopped breathing. “A water nymph and a satyr. Will was the midwife. The baby didn’t make it.”

Nico was running towards the infirmary before the boy had finished speaking.

The closer he got to the doors, the louder the sobbing and the stench of death became. He threw open the doors when he reached them, which was quite rude when he thought about it because the doors slammed into the wall, hinges rattling and the metal rounded handles on the inside left a shallow indent on the wall.

The smell of death was almost overpowering and Nico could feel the sadness coming off of everyone in the room. Frank and Hazel must have just come down from Camp Jupiter because Hazel was turned towards Frank with her head under his chin and her body tucked safely in his arms, his hands in her hair. Her body was shaking. Frank was also crying but he was more focused on making Hazel feel better by whispering reassurances to her. Some other Apollo campers were in the middle of the room, trying to console the ballistic mother. She was sitting on the bed in a white and blue spotted nightgown with her head in her hands. She wasn’t sobbing, but full on screaming. Nico’s heart broke.

He caught the eye of one of Will’s siblings and she came over to him. “Have you seen Will?” Kayla asked quietly, as not to disturb the rest of the room. “He ran out when we saw the baby. I think he feels guilty. Can you go look for him?”

Nico ran though other places Will could be in his head. “That’s what I’m doing.” He told her, turning away. He had his hand on the door frame, but before he left the infirmary he turned his head and called out to Kayla over his shoulder. “Hey, Kayla?”

“Hmm?”

“Tell the mother that I’ll make sure her baby is safe. I’ll tell the jury to make Beckendorf and Selina look after her.”

Kayla gave him a grateful look and a nod, then walked away to inform the mother.

Next, Nico checked the Apollo cabin. When he knocked on the door he was greeted almost instantly by Austin. “Hey Nico,” he said as he opened the door with a smile. “If you’re looking for Will, he isn’t here. Maybe he went for a walk?”

Nico looked down.  _Where could he be?_  “Thanks, Austin, I’ll see you later.”

“Anytime.”

Nico walked towards his table in the dining pavilion and sat down, putting his head in his hands. He was starting to get more worried about Will. It wasn’t like him to just take off, that was usually Nico’s job.  _Where does he normally go?_  Nico thought.   _He would want to go somewhere quiet and secluded to think, but not so alone that nobody could find him. Which means that he isn’t hiding. He’s expecting someone to find him, just not yet. He’s not in the infirmary or his cabin and I know he isn’t in the strawberry fields. Maybe he went to Thalia’s tree or went to the-_

His thinking was cut off by someone clearing their throat, loudly.

Nico looked back up to see Percy, still leaning against his cabin door. Annabeth was no longer crying in his arms but was now leaning on him with her head on his shoulder, eyes closed and her hair falling in front of her face from where it escaped her ponytail. Percy cleared his throat again as though making sure Nico knew that he was the one to do it in the first place. They made eye contact and Percy jerked his head in the direction of the woods. Nico had no idea what he was doing. He did it again, this time rolling his eyes at Nico. He mouthed the word “Will” and Nico suddenly sprang into action, finally understanding. He gave Percy a nod and a thumbs up as he passed.

_Idiot_. Nico chided himself when he got the edge of the tree line.  _What else would he be talking about?_

* * *

 

Nico didn’t have to search for long, he knew where Will would go. There was a small section of the forest, with a small lake that flowed into a pond. It was uninhabited by both nymphs and dryads and was the perfect place for Nico and Will to calm down. As he walked further towards their secret spot, Nico thought about how it was most times Will would be comforting Nico, trying to calm him down. Today, it was the other way around.  

When Nico reached the clearing, his heart almost broke at the sight before him.

Will was standing at the edge of the water, looking down at his hands. His hands were still red, and Nico couldn’t tell if they were still covered in blood or if they were red from scrubbing the memory of loss. His hair was hanging down around his face, the healthy look and natural glow all Apollo campers had was gone from his hair and instead hung in dull strands, tangled and long.  _He needs a haircut_. Nico thought absentmindedly as he watched his love stand motionless, still. The way Will acted was always a reflection on how a patient turned out. On days when they left the infirmary with a sprained ankle or the promise of a weeks’ worth of rest, Will was always bubbly, talkative. On days when he had to tell a camper that they would never walk again, that they would have to remove the arm that was torn to bloodied ribbons by a monster, that they would never see their loved ones again or when a patient dies by his hands, he was quiet, dull, detached, hurting, broken.

_Still_.

Nico walked out from his place beside the trees and stood next to Will, who didn’t acknowledge his approach but Nico was sure that Will knew that he was beside him. Knew from the way his breath hitched slightly as though he might cry then evened out into calmer and deeper breaths, how his hands started shaking and glistening from the tears starting to fall.

“Hey Will,” Nico said quietly as he moved closer to him, shoulders close but not touching. He didn’t know he should ask if Will was alright because he obviously wasn’t, but Nico still wanted him to know that he cared. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Will didn’t answer. He just kept staring at his hands, more and more tears rolling down his cheeks and pooling in his palms. This time, Nico did move to touch him, grabbing his hands and turning him around to face him. With one hand, he lifted up Will's chin and looked at his eyes, bloodshot and wet. It looked like he had been crying for a while. Nico could smell the sadness coming off of him and he squeezed his hand tighter. Will’s lip wobbled.

“It’s my fault,” Will finally whispered, “I should have been better.”

“No Will- “

“I should have been faster. I should have known that something was wrong.  I should have reacted quicker. I could have saved her. I  _should_  have saved her.” He was openly crying now, heart-wrenching sobs that shook him to the core. He could feel his chest tightening, like a corkscrew in a wine bottle, twisting, twisting until  _POP_ and his heart exploded right out of his chest. “This is all my fault.”

“No Will, it isn’t,” Nico said firmly. He wanted to shout, to scream at him that  _he couldn’t save everyone and that he did all he could do_ , but he wasn’t stupid, so he took to putting his hands on either side of his face, brushing away the falling tears with his thumb. “It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing more you could do.”

“I could have-“

“ _No_ , Will. You had no control over what was going to happen.”

“I was the one that suggested that she should be born a month early.”

“And  _why_  did you suggest that? Because I know you, and I know you would  _never_  say that is there wasn’t a very,  _very_  valid reason.”

Will sighed. He was holding his breath to keep it from hiccupping. “The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck and if she got any bigger it would have choked her.”

“ _There_  we go,” Nico said as he kissed Will chin. He was only a little smaller, but it made Will happy, so he did it as often as he could. “There’s the reason. It wasn’t your fault.” Will fell against Nico’s chest and Nico’s wrapped his arms around him. He was weeping on Nico’s shoulder and Nico could do nothing but hold on and rub his back, whispering “I love you, I love you, I love you” repeatedly in his ear until his cries of anguish turned into smaller sniffling. “I’m going to give the baby to Selina and Charles in Elysium.” He told Will when his sniffling stopped.

Will looked at him with wide eyes. “You don’t have to do that Neeks.”

“But I want to,” he said with a smile. He was doing more of those these days as well. They mainly came out when he was with Will. “Can’t the son of Hades be nice?”

Then he kissed him. A slow but greedy kiss that had a surprised Will taking a step back. It was Will who initiated the kisses, not Nico. Nevertheless, he grabbed Nico’s waist and kissed him back. It was mainly Nico doing all the work, twisting his head this way and that, sliding his tongue along the curve of Will’s lips then past his teeth, twisting his hands in his hair. It was a sweet kiss, but one of love and longing. When they broke away, they were both panting with pupils blown wide.

Will bent his forehead down to rest against Nico’s, eyes closed. “I don’t want the camp to see me.” He whispered, scared of ruining the moment. “I don’t think I can live with how they must think of me.”

Nico used his eyes to look around their surroundings, and carefully shuffled Will and himself under the shade of a tall oak. He closed his eyes and suddenly brisk air was swirling around them, popping their ears in enveloping them into darkness. When the cool air dissipated and they landed on something soft, they both opened their eyes to see they were on Nico’s bed. Not the bunk, but a wider bed in a darker corner of the room. Only used when Will came over. They lay there a moment until Nico rolled on his side and started kissing up Will’s neck, coming to rest in the pool of his throat. He went further down, to his chest, sliding his lips all the way down. He moved his head to his heart and listened to the beating patterns that Nico knew so well. He pressed his lips to it and sucked, making Will let out a quiet pleasured sigh. When Nico pulled away, there was a dark purple bruise.

Nico sat up then, swinging his legs over Will’s body so he was on top of him. He raised Will’s hands to his lips and kissed them. He kissed every inch of his hands, from the tips of his fingers to the veins on his wrists, where he left on each another lip-shaped bruise. “I love you,” he told him in between his kissing. “And even though you hate these hands, they are your hands, and I love them.”

Will closed his eyes and smiled. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“Are you sure I’m not a punishment? I mean, I’m a pain in the ass.” It was said jokingly, but Nico was suddenly worried that Will would take it seriously and give him a lecture on how  _he shouldn’t put himself down like that_  and  _how important he was in everyone’s lives._

Hypocrite.

But Will said none of those things, only chuckled and laced his fingers with Nico’s. “You’re my little ball of fury.”

Nico slid off of Will’s lap and rested his head on his chest again as Will’s hands came up and started running them through his hair. He wasn’t sure how long they laid there for but after what felt like only a few minutes but must have been a few hours, they heard the dinner bell. Nico stood up and stretched his arms out, pushing Will back down when he tried to sit up. “Stay here,” He told him with a peck on the lips. “You’re staying here tonight.”

Nico hurried out of the cabin and grabbed two plated and to goblets, slipping those in his jumper pockets. He put the food on the plates and slid off some mashed potato as a sacrifice to the gods, then turned to walk away.

“Nico, wherein Olympus are you going?”

Nico sighed as he turned back to the rest of the camp, who all had his eyes on him. He didn’t know who had spoken, but he wanted to fling some potatoes in their face.

“Back to my cabin,” he said as he caught Hazel's eye. She was sitting alone on the Hades table, obviously waiting for Nico, making him feel a pang of guilt. But she smiled at him, grabbed her food and drink, stood up and made her way over to Percy’s table.

He heard a bunch of sighs come from the Apollo table and when he turned to them, they all looked relieved. “So Will is with you then?” Kayla asked. Nico nodded. “Oh thank Zeus,” she said as she closed her eyes. “We’ve been so worried.” When she reopened her eyes, they conveyed nothing but gratefulness. “Thank you for taking care of him.”

“No problem,” Nico reassured her over his shoulder as he turned to walk back to his cabin. Will was right where he left him, and when Nico sat on the bed, he smiled and took the food from him.

* * *

 

The next time anyone saw Will was a few days later. They heard him before they saw him, giggling turning to full-blown laughter. It was coming from the Hades cabin, which might have been the biggest surprises of all. But when Will emerged with his blond hair bright and glowing, a huge smile on his face and wearing one of Nico’s t-shirts, that was soon forgotten. Nico came out a short time later, wearing Will’s Camp Half-Blood shirt, and the campers could hear him complaining from the other end of camp. “Will, I look ridiculous.”

“You look adorable.”

“I’m fine with you wearing my shirts. I like it. But I have no interest in wearing any of yours.”

“But then they will smell like you.”

“You actually want your shirts to smell of death?”

“No, but I can make an exception for my boyfriend. Can you make one for yours?”

“More like my significant annoyance.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing sweetie!”

And then Will was laughing again, and they were kissing, and it felt like everything was back to normal.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, for some reason this is in chapters, but it's not supposed to and I don't know how to fix that. SO, just ignore that. Sorry about that everyone xx


End file.
